Where are Tinus and Barrie?

We’ve been in South-East Asia for a week now, and boy does it feel great to be back! The food is a great part of it (like, really big), but I’ll try and amuse you all with some travel stories and observations as well.

I was in Bangkok for the first time thirteen years ago and managed to thoroughly under-enjoy it then. This time, I thought it was wonderful, in part surely because I didn’t stay on scum-of-the-earth horrible place Khao San Road, but in the lovely and totally recommended Better Bed guesthouse, and because the public transport was much improved (yay for metro and Skytrain!). Not unimportant, considering the city’s hard to grasp vast sprawl.

Bangkok traffic is terrible, but the Skytrain overhead lets you zip by quickly.

We were diligent tourists and went to Wat Pho, Wat Arun, the Grand Palace, Khao San Road and Chinatown, just like I did last time. There was a lot of shouting by guides at the Grand Palace, the reclining buddha at Wat Pho was serene as ever and Chinatown bustling and charming, even in the pouring rain. Khao San felt like an even bigger cesspool of terribleness with its drunk, stoned tourists eating fried scorpions (“Dude, bro, this is SO COOL!”), the ugliest tourist trinkets ever and self-congratulatory ‘I-know-everything-and-I’m-so-adventurous-backpacking-in-Thailand-in-my-generic-breezy-elephant-print-pants’ mostly Western tourists in their early twenties (which I’m sure was me then too). The fact that I got a flea bite on Khao San and that as a result me and Barrie spent a fair amount of the evening Googling things like “flea bite rabies” and “flea bit omg what the fuck people does this happen in the 21th century” didn’t quite convince me to ever go back there when I visit Bangkok again.

The STFU-signs didn’t work, although tour guides did scream like there was no tomorrow. Also, there were booty shorts a-go-go, because Western tourist chicks just really need to let it all hang out.

Screaming tourist guide

Sassy statue

We also went to the unexpectedly great Jim Thompson house, a traditional Thai house commissioned by the American silk trader in the 1950s. He mysteriously disappeared in the Malay jungle in 1967, but his house is now a museum and open to visitors. You have to take a guided tour, but in this case it was absolutely worth it. The woman who showed us around was a fountain of knowledge and had a pretty brutal sense of humour.

Jim Thompson House

One particular hot and clammy afternoon, we ditched the heat in favour of the latest installment in the Bourne film series and saw Jason Bourne. Entertaining enough, although the air-con was turned to frostbite and some of our attention was spent on fantasising about hot chocolate. More interesting though was experiencing having to stand up for the Thai tradition of the national anthem being played before each movie whilst images of king Bhumibol are shown, the various happy new year cards he sent to people in 2014 and the king in diverse settings with about 2-10 dogs by his side on each picture. Try and not laugh when that is happening! Seriously, don’t laugh. The king is the longest ruling head of state in the world (70 years and counting) and is protected by lèse majesté laws, meaning you can be jailed if you offend him. Although he stated in 2005 that he should also be critisised if needed, one is really better advised not to. Charming. Also, one person remarked to us “what do you know, maybe one day we’ll have true freedom of speech and democracy in this country. Whoops, hope there’s no cameras in this room!” Although we all laughed, I actually was quite startled and realised very clearly that though we are very comfortable in the countries we travel in, this is certainly not per se the case for a large group of people actually living there, ruled over by corrupt governments with intimate ties with the military…

Giant ice cream needed to eat away sadness about lack of political freedom. And it worked, look how happy we are! (We’ll be 40 pounds heavier upon return if we keep this strategy up)

The next blog post will be about Mandalay in Myanmar, where we are at the moment. Until that time: traditional observations:

• Bananas and watermelons are the bees’ knees in fashion this Summer. We saw so many people wearing these prints (and looking really fab doing so) and I am keen on snagging me a shirt as well.

• Japan is ALL the rage in Thailand. Seriously, the land of the rising sun seems to inspire everything in Bangkok. Every other restaurant has sushi or soba, there were photo exhibitions on Japan, Japan sponsored the metro system, etc.

Barrie with giant Japanese maniki neko

• Exercise is for the elite. I wanted to do some boxing, cardio, muay thai, jiu jitsu, whatever, but the rates were really high. Prices for a class ranged from $15-$30. I’ll just do pushups and situps in my room for free thankyouverymuch.
• Smart phone usage is heavier in Bangkok than anywhere I’ve been before. People play candy crush or troll Instagram while walking, almost landing them face-first into poles and open sewers, which seems to not concern them in the slightest. Also, nobody uses the home button, but AssistiveTouch, an accessibility option meant for people who have problems with pressing buttons and swiping. It’s all the rage in Asia, maybe because people are afraid the home button will break, or maybe because they just do.
• Thai love them some creepy-drawn eyes! This is just a sample of anime-like peepers staring blankly into your soul on the Bangkok streets

Jeepers, creepers, where’d ya get those peepers?